Wamba’s World

Dear Diary,

It’s almost summer,  and you know what that means? Bathing suit season–that time of year when everyone has to reckon with their overeating from the holidays and attempt to get back into shape. 

For me, it’s going to be especially hard because I spent three months with my YaYa while my mom was working on the east coast. YaYa, like all good grandmothers, spoils me and my brother. We get homemade meals four times a day and treats whenever we make the slightest fuss. It’s the best. Even Mom, who is pretty awesome, doesn’t indulge us that much.

I’m older now, a young lady (so says my mom), and I just can’t eat what I used to. I mean, I gained two pounds at YaYa’s house. Two pounds! What can I say? YaYa’s house has raisin bread and peanut butter chocolate protein bars, all within reach at every minute of every day. 

When I was little, I could eat that plus a whole dinner of duck paté and not gain an ounce. Now I’ve got a flabby belly. It’s so disgusting. And now that I’m back in LA, the “land of beautiful people” (and not “Hollywood for ugly people” for which Mom abandoned us this winter), the pressure is extreme.

Lucky for me, I read about an awesome new diet trend: worms. Yep. You read that right. Long, thin slimy ones, just like the song! The best part is you don’t even have to eat them! All you have to do is drink a little water that has their eggs in it–so tiny you’ll never even taste them let alone see them. Easy peasy.

In an age of stomach stapling, lipo, and spin classes, worms just make sense. So wish me luck. I’m gonna look amazing.

Love your darling little kitten,
Wamba

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2 thoughts on “Wamba’s World”

  1. Christy Zimmerman

    Wamba, you did not need to go to this extreme for weight loss. If you just cut back on your treats and chase Spanky more you should be back to swimsuit weight in no time.

    1. I’ve been instructed to reply at Wamba’s behest: “Hi, Christy! I know, I know… fewer treats, more exercise. But it’s so hot, and my mom is cheap and hates running the A/C. Maybe I’ll do yoga with her in the morning. Anything is better than P90X. And probably worms.”

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